Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
