i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Randomize
