Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
