I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
