wrigley field is MILF paradise
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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