We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize