There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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