she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
