brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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