Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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