You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
