He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
so much tequila, so little girl.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
