At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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