Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I'm like, not good at living.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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