Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
