i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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