i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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