You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
