So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
