porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
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