I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize