Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Randomize
