hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
