You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
