Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
We talked him into tasing himself.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
You ate ashes out of my bong
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
