So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
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