only if we run a train.
done.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
