i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I need a burrito and a hug.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
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