dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
