My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
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