even my farts smell like vagina
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
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