Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
