So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
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