it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize