Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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