chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
