His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize