Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
