You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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