never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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