Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
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