Im at strip club and am horny
Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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