I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
