So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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