God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
handjob tips. give me some.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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