I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Text me some of your sweat
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
