um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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