Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
