so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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