oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Randomize
