You made me cry and you don't even care
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
