Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Your tits are I can't wait for
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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