i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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