we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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