the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
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