Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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