I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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