Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
