let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Randomize
