Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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