Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Randomize
