That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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