i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Randomize
