he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
