It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
