I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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