Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Randomize
