I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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