You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
