she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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