I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Randomize
